This is a quick guide on how to get famous for the everyday people around the world. If you’re an average attention whore without any sort of original features, extraordinary characteristics or special talents keep reading.
As you probably already know, all celebrities are super short with huge heads. If you’re, like me, obsessed with fame and fortune in all it’s glory, it is now time to take action. But is it really that easy, you ask me? Yes, as a matter of fact it’s surprisingly easy to become a celebrity, but of course, depending on your courage and dedication. Below follows three alternatives with different levels of implementation difficulties. Let’s start with the simplest one.
1. GO CRAZY
This is the easiest and fastest way to get famous. To do something completely crazy or say something totally out of line will definitely get you noticed fast. If you’re an attention seeking fan of Paris Hilton, the Kardashians or other people famous for being famous this is your path to take.
2. BE SHORT
This alternative is a little bit harder since you can’t choose your height (at least from what I know) but there are other ways to shorten your length. E.g. you could put shoes on your knees and walk around like a little person hoping to get discovered.
3. HAVE A BIG HEAD
Justin Bieber’s head is actually not that big. He has a big haircut and that’s why he’s even famous in the first place. You might think this is unfair to us small headed others with real talent but I think he’s a very clever guy and deserves some credit. He’s also super short and have most likely stopped growing. Use Botox or bang your head really hard into the wall and it will swell. I guess eating a lot of junk food and getting super fat will work as well but in order to make your scull bigger you’ll have to use expensive and extreme methods.
So to sum up, there are a few different ways to become famous. Some are easy and some are a bit harder. For lucky people, born with big heads and short legs, the game looks different and they were destined to be famous from the start. But when life isn’t fair, we must remember to hold our small heads up high and use what we’ve got.
Good luck and carpe diem.